Sunday, June 28, 2009
Top 10: #2 Be realistic about your bridesmaids
#2. Be realistic about your bridesmaids. Being a bridesmaid is an honor, but it's also a job. A job that comes with such a vague description that it can end up causing major drama throughout the wedding planning process. Not every girl is born to be a bridesmaid, and you're more than likely going to be choosing your maids based on close friend or family ties, and not on helpfulness/ usefulness in terms of assisting you. Just like men, bridesmaids can't always read your mind and know exactly what you want them to do and when to do it. Well, unless they're like me, of course!
The key to "bridesmaid bliss" is to examine the roll you expect your bridesmaids to fill, examine their expectations of being a bridesmaid, and finally, to communicate with them. I am not saying you should give them a long list of tasks as soon as they assume the roll of BM by any means! What I am saying is to make sure your expectations are align, and to be fair, honest and reasonable with them. Don't be a bridezilla, but don't be a push-over.
The best way to communicate this is to let them know what is in store from the get go. If you ask a crafty friend to be a BM, then right away let her know how creative you think she is and how you would love some help with the design elements of the wedding. Is your future sister-in-law completely clueless when it comes to cutesy things but great with numbers and tables, ask her for help with seating arrangements and so forth. And if you're a control-freak bride who wants to do it all on her own, make sure you let your eager beaver MOH know before she starts to get overly involved with planning your perfect day.
The best idea is to politely and graciously delegate reasonably sized tasks to the appropriate people, and this will ensure that things will get done according to plan. Just remember, your bridesmaids may have no idea what to do, so unless you ask for their help you shouldn't begrudge them for being useless (because some of them will be).