The Perfect Pair: Wedding Coordinator + Venue Coordinator

Full post on the Morgan Creek Wedding Gala to come, but in the meantime I had to re-post two fabulous articles by some of my fave LA based planners Amber Events and Jesi Haack. I found that many of the awesome brides who stopped by our booth last night were confused about the difference between the banquet coordinator provided by their venue, and what it is that we do. Although your venue coordinator is a vital piece of the puzzle and will be of endless amounts of help to you, what they do and what we do are entirely different! Working together with both a wedding co-ordinator and a venue co-ordinator is probably one of the best insurance policies you can get! If you're unsure of how the both of us can make your day run absolutely perfectly, then read on!

Venue Coordinator vs. Independent Coordinator By Amber Events

"Recently a potential bride with whom I felt that I clicked with emailed me to say basically: "thanks for your follow up, but we booked Venue X and they provide a wedding coordinator and so I don't need your services." I was sad for her because I really liked her and she has no way to know that the wedding coordinator promised to her is a venue coordinator, not a wedding coordinator. I'd like to explain the difference between the two.

A venue coordinator works for that venue. That is where their loyalties lie, and that is not a bad thing or a good thing, it just is. Their job is to sell the venue to brides, give out a list of preferred vendors, answer questions about the venue, assist with room layout and tasting, and make sure that your wedding follows the rules and regulations of the space. They may or may not help with the master Timeline of the wedding day and rarely do they help decorate or design for your reception. They do know what works and what doesn't in a space, so trust them if they say "that won't work!". Depending on how large the venue is, they may have four or more weddings they are juggling that weekend. On your wedding day, they may not even be the person you have been talking to all of these months, as it is a very challenging job and some venues tend to have high turnover.

Don't get me wrong, a venue coordinator's job is very, VERY important, but they are not your wedding coordinator. Neither is your DJ, a photographer, or florist. Yes, they all coordinate things that directly relate to them (a photographer will help with the Timeline as that affects pictures, etc), but they are not orchestrating every single detail of the event like an independent coordinator will.

As an independent wedding coordinator, our loyalty is to you, our client. Not your parents, photographer, videographer, DJ, florist or venue. An independent coordinator's job is to assess what level of service you need and to go above and beyond that. And to do it in a timely manner, with patience, and with a smile. Whether hired for "month of" coordination or full production, an independent coordinator will become the adviser and orchestrator of the entire production and how all of the vendors tie in together, as well as all of the millions of details that need to be dealt with. And this is just the logistical stuff. Then we have the emotions that come into play during the planning of a wedding. I'm not kidding when I say that half of what I do as a wedding coordinator is to act as a good old-fashioned shoulder to cry on! An independent coordinator will help you with wording of your invitations, encourage you to let your personality shine through, debate the pros and cons of the shades of Bashful vs. Blush roses, give you advice on sticky budget questions, advise you how to seat your divorced parents during the ceremony, remind you to hold your bouquet low as you walk down the aisle, and hug you goodnight at the end of the day.

A venue coordinator and an independent wedding coordinator are both extremely important as they each have a specific job that they are good at doing. A wedding with strong coordinators working hand in hand usually provides a seamless and stress free wedding day for all involved!"

And just in case you're still confused, here's a couple insightful scenarios from the incomparable Jessi Haack:

{SCENERIO 1}

The blushing bride swells with excitement as her newly adorned groom dips her ever so gently, just at the precise moment their song chimes the last tune. They take a humble bow to their guests. The father of the bride grabs the mic. Everyone is smiling, anxiously awaiting what kind and funny words the proud father will share. Everyone, that is, except for the bride. She knows her father too well and knows that he has enjoyed one too many Marry Mojitos(her talented wedding planner came up with that one). The bride stands frozen in place, a solid yet uneasy smile on her face, completely unsure of how to put out this impending fire. Luckily, her trusty wedding planner is standing by with a fire extinguisher. Because of the intense planning sessions spent together in the 12 months preceding this moment, her planner has learned priceless pieces of information. At this moment in time, she holds this valuable golden nugget: the father of the bride has a tendency to over-indulge in the special sauce. She swoops in and gracefully sneaks the mic away from the FOB and transitions the toasts over to the Best Man. Fire extinguished.

{SCENARIO 2}

The party is in full swing. The cake has been cut. The lovebirds are slow-dancing seventh grade style in the center of the dance floor…to a fast song. The guests’ attention is ushered toward the screen. The slide show, cleverly staged by the brother of the groom, is cued. As the opening photos flash across the screen, the music begins to garble. It sounds as though the speakers are playing a mean game of “Chubby Bunny." The guests glance around uncomfortably. The bride and groom look up at the screen with a frozen smile. The feedback in the speakers growls louder and more intrusive. The wedding planner is frantically flipping switches and jiggling wires. The sound check went flawlessly! Why is this happening? As organized, trustworthy, and together the wedding planner has proven to be, this unforeseen complication could happen at any time. Just when the crowd’s attention span was about to run out, the venue coordinator rushes into the audio room and flips a switch. All of her years of experience in one venue taught her that there is a specific electrical complication that acts up unpredictably. The music smoothes out, and the slide show plays on. The guests laugh in all of the right moments, the bride and groom kiss each other sweetly as they remember their childhoods.

{THE MORAL}

Of course being a wedding planner myself, I want to persuade you of the extreme importance of hiring someone to walk with you through the planning process from day 1. Someone who will get to know you on a personal level and use your personality in the planning and design of your day. But let’s be honest. I am a bit biased. The truth is, the partnership between your Wedding Planner and the Venue Coordinator is the ultimate unbreakable defense system. Armed with personal knowledge, your planner acts as the advocate of your personal preferences and needs. Armed with knowledge of the facility details, the venue coordinator covers the gaps the planner cannot fill. You see, your planner spends the time with you the venue coordinator can't. And the venue coordinator spends the time with the venue that your planner can't. It’s a brilliant collaboration!

From Hello Bella: I hope that these great posts help clear up some confusion, and of course if you ever have any questions, don't be afraid to ask!

Guest Blog: Gift Registries

I am excited to introduce my first guest blogger ever. My friend and new Hello Bella partner, Jen Berry, will be contributing her wisdom from time to time, and I'm very excited to see what she has in store. Jen has a passion for weddings, and a history in corporate event planning so we compliment each other very well.

A note from Miss Berry: So as a romantic at heart, I too have always had an interest in creating the perfect wedding. As I got older this tilted to not only the perfect wedding but also the most budget friendly one. I have made it my mission to find the best things at the best prices.

Registries

Here in Canada we have a limited number of registries, most commonly: The Bay(Home Outfitters) and Sears. I myself find that these stores offer minimal selection and poor prices.

So I searched for a solution and I found it. www.myregistry.com!

This registry allows you to place any item from any store that has a website and locate it all in one registry. Guests can even give cash donations under titles such as "Our House Fund," and "Our Honeymoon Fund," via secure paypal. You can comparison shop online and find the best prices so that $500 Kitchenaid you saw at the Bay your guests can buy online for $250 at Target.com. This is ideal for those who can cross the border to pick the gifts up as many great offers give free shipping within the US.

I suggest using Hagens of Blaine as your shipping address. www.hagensofblaine.com or in Point Roberts www.themailcarrier.comboth are reputable and offer very cheap recieving services.

~Miss Berry

(And a side note from Bella Blogs: traditional etiquette dictates that it is not decorous to put any registry information on or in your invitations... Have your family and friends spread the word around and put the links on your wedding website instead!)

The Dress: After the Final Pose

So, the day is done, your tan is starting to fade from that wicked honeymoon, and you're quickly realizing how much stuff you have left over from your wedding. Time to start clearing your life of stacks of paper and ribbons and bows. But that dress. Oh that dress! You spent months scouring bridal magazines, hours browsing online, and tried on many to find it. But when you did, it took mere moments to fall in love and start a very fulfilling relationship with it. Now what? What do you do with this sentimental, wearable piece of art?

Before my wedding, I completely assumed I would NEVER be one of those "I'm keeping my dress forever" kind of girls. Although I must admit wearing my mom's wedding dress for a highschool play, and subsequently covering it in blood for my zombie bride halloween costume was very much fun, I certainly never had any intention of ever wearing her dress for my own wedding. And if I don't expect my own daughter to wear my dress, then what's the point in keeping it?

I know it's pretty useless to me now, but for some reason I still can't bring myself to let it go. It's so pretty, so ME, and whenever I look at it every single emotion and memory from that day comes flooding back. I'm hoping that after my eventual "trash the dress" session that my dress's future might become more clear to me (yes, I know I've been married for almost a year, but I am planning on getting all bridal again and dragging my hubby along to some fun and creative shoot just the two of us. I'm just waiting for the "right" time, aka, for 15 pounds to magically melt off my body while simultaneously tanning to a gorgeous caramel without the ensuing potential skin damage).

Anyhow, for those of you who are also unsure of what to do with your wedding dress, here are a few ideas:

1.) Sell it or Donate it: This is a very eco-friendly option since by recycling your dress you are preventing the production of at least one new dress (if not more if it is resold again and again). Try consignment stores like Treat Bridal in Langley or www.oncewed.com online. Use any extra money from the sale to settle into your newlywed life or pay off any remaining wedding debts.

2.) Preserve it: If you really can't bring yourself to part with your dress, make sure you have it professionally preserved. This will prevent any fabric discoloration or degradation from occurring.

3.) Reuse it: Although not feasible for some styles of dresses, think about having it died or altered to be worn as a cocktail or formal dress.

4.) Recreate it: Have a blanket or throw pillows made from the fabric, or even doll dresses that can be passed on to your children.

5.) Art-ify it: (Ok, I made that word up. I think. I mean, I'm sure someone else has probably made it up before me, but just thought I'd get it out there that sometimes I alter words.) Anyways, if you really love your dress and could stare at it for hours on end like me, why not have a local artist or art student/fashion designer sketch out a rendering of your dress in classy greyscale? Frame it, mount it, adore it. Then refer to another one of the previous numbers.

Anyone else have any other good ideas on what to do with your wedding dress after the wedding day?

Compromising your wedding dreams, compromising your happiness?

Well, I probably should have included this post in my "Top 10 things every bride should do", so maybe this can be the bonus #11!

There is so much talk today about the recession and the need for people to cut back on costs that it's definitely permeating into the wedding industry. Everywhere you turn there are bridal magazines with DIY projects and money saving tips to help pull off your big day without breaking the bank. I am all for saving moolah and crafty DIY projects (heck, I planned my own semi-DIY wedding!), but I do feel the need to encourage couples to follow through with their vision regardless of this economic downturn.

What, you say?? Someone is telling me to ignore this crisis and plan my wedding without consideration of the repercussions to my financial well-being?

Well, yes and no. Life is full of compromises, and as you soon will learn, so are weddings. You're dealing with multiple opinions (mothers, sisters, bridesmaids, grooms) as well as limited options, and on top of that you want to do it without risking your future financial stability.

I do believe that compromises will, and should, occur throughout your planning process, but I don't believe you should completely stray from your lifelong vision just to get there. If you've always had dreams of towering romantic centerpieces in a grandiose ballroom with a 7-course plated dinner, then why on earth would you settle for a buffet at a local community centre? If your dreams of being married in small chapel and then joining your friends and family for a local back-yard barbeque reception, then why would you fly to France for an over-the-top destination wedding to please your in-laws? There are so many reasons people compromise their wedding vision, and money is only one of them. I am just saying don't let this economic downturn completely influence your wedding planning. The economy WILL recover eventually, but you will never have a chance to re-do your wedding (well, I'm staying positive here- at least to THIS person). If pictures are important to you, don't settle for a crappy, cheap photographer, because I guarantee that in 5 years, when you're sitting on your comfy little nest egg, that you'll wish you shelled out the extra dough to have some really beautiful wedding photos.

Your wedding is YOUR party. It's your one big celebration that will bring your family and friends together, and how you want to spend it is YOUR choice- I'm just asking that you don't let people talk you into completely altering this day you've been envisioning forever because of a few bumps in the road. If your idea of your perfect wedding is an intimate gathering with 10 friends, then follow through! If a big, fat, greek wedding is what gets your crank turning, then perhaps a of wedding of 10 guests is not for you. Make small compromises, like reducing your 7-course meal to 5, or alternating your tables with one luxurious centerpiece with one not-so expensive. You can still have the wedding you always dreamed of, and you don't need to blow the budget out of the water.

And on the subject of weddings and saving money, here is one small note on DIY projects: no one ever tells you how incredibly LONG these projects take to complete. If your time is valuable (if your job is in consulting or any field that requires you to put in hours to earn a salary) then you NEED to calculate your opportunity cost. If you need to take a week off work prior to the wedding to complete your DIY projects, calculate the money you are not making, and find out how much your DIY projects would cost to purchase pre-assembled or made by someone else. This, of course, does not apply to everyone, but you might find that you're PAYING to make DIY projects, not saving!

The top image was sourced from the blog post http://budgetdisneywedding.blogspot.com/2008/10/this-disney-wedding-is-brought-to-you.html and is actually a very good, honest read from a bride planning her wedding during the recession. Although I don't like to be the one giving such advice from a professional stand-point, I definitely concur with her notions on budgeting for a wedding.

Top 10: #10 Give yourself some time before your honeymoon.

#10. Give yourself some time between your wedding and your honeymoon!

Rounding up my top ten things that every bride should do is the advice to take a fews days, a week, or even a couple of weeks of down-low time before you jet set off on your amazing honeymoon. I know, I know, it's traditional to leave a day or two after your wedding. However, after the insane amount of activities occurring before your wedding, you will be relieved to have some time to relax, enjoy some time setting up house and opening up your wedding gifts, not to mention all the extra time you will get to spend with out of town friends and family that you may not have been able to see much of before the wedding.

The anticipation leading up to the wedding day will be gone, and you'll have some time to let that same excitement and anticipation build up for your upcoming honeymoon. It will also be a great opportunity to get all of those thank you cards done, meaning you won't have to think about anything but enjoying yourself while you're away!

What's in a favor...

What's cuter than a build-your-own-smores kit?

...Or vintage soda bottles...

...and potted plants with thank you notes....

...or heart shaped sparklers ...

..Or delicious cherries!

Favors, or bonbonnieres, are an increasingly popular component of today's wedding receptions. Bonbonnieres go way back to European aristocrats who bestowed small trinket boxes made of crystal, porcelain or stone, filled with sugar cubes or confections to their guests to symbolize wealth and royalty. The sugar was then replaced with coated almonds, which is still around to today in many Italian weddings.

Choosing your favors can be a fun but ardous task. Trying to find something that is unique, cost-effective, gender neutral and crosses generations can be challenging. When selecting your wedding favors, keep the following tidbits in mind. Try to tie in your favors to your theme. It will enhance your decor and pull everything together. Think old fashioned glass soda bottles for a vintage wedding, sparklers for those showcasing a firework spectacular, and mini potted plants for an earthy, nature theme. I also find that the best and most appreciated favors are either edible or practical. As cute as miniature castles and monogrammed wine glasses are, guests are often stuck without a use for it after the wedding. If you're going to spend the money to thank them for coming, it makes sense to get them something that they can use, or eat!

(Photo source: www.projectwedding.com)

Top 10: #9 Don't be a Bridezilla!

9. Don't be a Bridezilla...

I know, I know, it's YOUR day. But really, it's also your fiance's, and it's a very important event for your friends and family members as well. It's easy to get caught up in a Bridezilla moment and lose sight of the things that really matter, which is why it's so important to to consider other people when planning your wedding. Obviously you should look out for yourself and your big happy wedding, but just take the time to reflect on your decisions and actions before setting them in motion. In the end, your family and friends will thank you for being a thoughtful and gracious bride-to-be, and you're going to prevent endless amounts of stress and drama surrounding your wedding festivities!

(Photo source: http://neorelationship.wordpress.com/2009/03/30/the-beginning/)

Top 10: #8 Be picky with your guests list...

8. Be picky with your guest list.

Not all weddings are size-constrained because of budget. Many are being held in venues that have a maximum occupancy, and regardless of how much money you have to spend, if you have found the place of your dreams you may have to make concessions with your guest list.

Sure, lavish 300-400 guest receptions definitely make an impact, but do you really know all of those guests? Will you be in touch with those guests for years to come? Unless your family is monstrous, you probably don't need to invite the entire town. As I asked my husband to do with his friends list, ask yourself these questions: Is this person in my contacts on my cellphone? Have I talked to this person in the last 6 months? Have I seen this person in the last year? Do I think I will still be close to this person in upcoming years? I dont need to break down the answers to each of these questions as they are pretty self-explanatory, but hopefully you will see the value in asking yourself these.

Although etiquette mavericks across the nation will probably cringe at this advice, don't feel like you HAVE to invite dates for all of your single friends, especially if you're younger with a group of young, single friends. If most of your friends aren't in relationships, why not have them all seated together at a table so they can enjoy each other's company instead of entertaining some wedding date that no one else knows. My logic here is: if you have a limited guest list would you rather be able to invite one more friend or family family member to share your special day with you, or would you rather that spot be taken by someone you've never met before and most likely will never see again? What interest do they have in witnessing the union of two strangers? Probably none. And you never know, maybe some of your single friends will take a liking to each other and you'll be credited as a successful matchmaker!

Guest lists are always tough, but just realize that not everyone can be invited and you might need to make some slightly unfortunate but rather necessary cuts. However, if you have an unlimited budget and massive venue, then don't let me stop you! Heck, you can invite me if you like!

(Photo: http://www.projectwedding.com/photo/browse?photo_to_show=378959&tag=placecards&thumbs_page=5)

Top 10: #7 Accept that you WILL need help...

7. Accept that you WILL need help. Unless you're planning an intimate shin-dig for 30 guests, chances are you will not be able to do everything all on your own. Believe me. I tried. Without trying to be shameless plug, if you want your day to run as smoothly as possible you will need a dedicated friend or family member or a wedding co-ordinator. I pretty much did everything on my own, and I mean everything, up until 3AM the night before my wedding, and after that I let my day-of wedding planner take the reigns. I took photos of how I wanted the centerpieces set up, I drew diagrams and tables for everything you can imagine, and labeled the jars of the candy buffet so she knew which candy to put in which jar. As much as my type-A personality would have loved to have been able to do it all myself, it just wasn't feasible. I was busy getting married. Some brides will ask a friend or family member to do all the set-up and make sure the reception runs smoothly, and others would rather have someone outside of the guest list do the work so they have time to spend with all their loved ones on their big day. Either way, you will soon realize how important it is to have someone assist you on your wedding day.

To keep stress levels down, don't be afraid to delegate pre-wedding projects to your friends. Have a craft night, show them how you want the favor boxes constructed and how long each ribbon should be cut and just go for it! If you try to do it all yourself it will take you hours and hours and hours. And if you aren't able to round up helpers for your DIY projects or for addressing your invitations and so forth, most wedding planners will offer their services hourly for a reasonable rate. Whatever you choose to do, don't try to be the hero and do it all on your own. You will be so happy to have asked for help when it comes down to crunch time and it will make your wedding day that much more enjoyable!

(Photo credit: http://www.wpic.ca/)

Top 10: #6 Prepare for takeoff!

Top 10 things every bride should know...

6. Prepare for takeoff. It is likely that you will never experience another time in your life that the days and week and months will pass by so quickly. The last 6 months feel like 6 days, the hours on your wedding day seem like minutes, and the more you prepare for this time-travel the better you can fight it. In the months leading up to your wedding, complete your tasks and to-do lists early, and try and get as much done as you can before the couple weeks before your wedding. You don't want to have to make a choice between tying ribbon around your programs and getting your nails done or spending time with out of town family. If you get what you can out of the way, you can hopefully relax a bit and tend to yourself in the days leading up. And on the big day, stop for a few moments, breath, look around and take it all in. Repeat every 3o minutes. And enjoy!

Top 10: #5 Don't underestimate the value of photos and video

5. Don't underestimate the value of photos and video. I always find photography and videography a touchy subject for brides. Of course most brides would love to have the best of both, but are scared away by the hefty price tags associated with them. Truth is, I was too, and since I hadn't properly been exposed to the world of creative photography yet I didn't really realize what the value was. If you don't think photography is important to you, then I challenge you to check out some magnificent photography on Style Me Pretty or another real weddings blog. Most likely you'll be overcome with a wave of emotion when looking at the true artistic nature of the photographs. They truly capture the feeling of the day, and after all of the hours of hard work and all the money spent, why wouldn't you want to capture your wedding in the best light possible? Now take a look at the portfolio of a less experienced photographer, and you will probably notice a significant difference. One is art, one is a picture. Sure, many people can photoshop and edit the photograph to look more professional, but determine the style of photography you want and then go for it. If you are completely satisfied with purely portait style photographs, then you can get away with a less expensive photographer. If all your little heart desires is a wedding album worthy of being published in a magazine, with jaw-dropping artistic shots, awe-inspiring detail shots of the little things that matter to you (like the favors you worked so hard on) then you might want to prepare yourself to re-adjust your budget. The one thing I PROMISE you is that you will regret not spending enough on a photographer, but you won't regret spending more for a true artist (as long as you're not getting ripped off). Another important thing to remember with photography is to make sure you ask your photographer for ALL of your photos on a disc. If they give you the best 300-400 edited on a disc, you will still want the rest that were taken. You never know, there might be some hidden gem in there that you truly fall in love with that your photographer may have passed over. My last and final piece of advice regarding photography is to make sure you scour for photos and poses and scenes that you love online and in magazines, and give those examples to your photographer so that they know exactly what you are looking for. This is one piece of advice that I knew before my wedding, but due to time constaints and stress overload, I completely overlooked (every part of me wishes I had done this).

I promise not to drag on about videography as I did with photography, but wanted to stress the importance of hiring a videographer. Now, you don't need to hire the Spielberg of the video production world to get a worthy product, but do do do actually hire a videographer instead of asking your cousin who has never operated a camera in his life to videotape your wedding with the new camera your mom just bought at Best Buy and only charged for 2 hours (yes, this really happened). Think of the joy your kids and grandkids will have being able to watch young versions of you walking down the aisle, dancing your first dance and cutting the cake. Yes, it's great to have for you, but think of the kids! Not to mention, the day goes by SO FAST and you're sort of in a little stress-induced high that by the end of the night you're not really sure you remember everything. A video capturing all of your hard work, all of the guests feelings and emotions, and that perfect day with your new husband will end up being a pricelesskeepsake. I know this isn't number one on the list, but if you asked me the one thing I could go back and change it would be this. I really really wish I had a great video of my big day.

Bella Tip: Get business cards printed online for next to nothing with your contact info, a photo sharing site and upload instructions. Include them in the envelope with your Thank You cards and hopefully you'll get even more photos from your big day. Even the best photographers can't capture every angle (well, unless you have 20 of them), so you'd be surprised how happy you will be to have your guests photos. My favorite shot from my cake cutting at my wedding is a guest photo because I love the angle they took the photo from!

Top 10: #4 Personalize your wedding

4. Personalize your wedding. If you have high expectations for your big day and really want to impress your guests, go for a personalized, signature approach instead of just over the top or traditional. Over the top can be done, and it has been done before, but what guests will really appreciate are all of the little unique touches that they won't find at another wedding. Whether it's a custom monogram, a pattern that is carried throughout the decor, a signature drink, or a unique theme, it will pay off to stray from the path of normalcy and guests will be happy for the change in scenery. Don't know where to start? Get inspired by some of the countless wedding blogs online that feature stunning, one of a kind real weddings. Style me Pretty and It's a Jaime Thing are great places to start. Magazines also offer great ideas, one of my favourite features being a Californian wedding that used a roll of pale yellow and grey paisley wallpaper as their aisle runner to tie in the paisley pattern they used in their printed materials. There are so many truly inspiring ideas out there, and you might regret not thinking outside the box once it's too late to change anything.

Top 10: # 3 When you find "the" dress, buy it!

3. When you find "the" dress, buy it. Ok, so this may be contrary to others who suggest you should try on a gazillion dresses to find the perfect bridal gown, but I believe that when you fall in love, it's for real. I, for one, walked by the store window of a bridal shop and gazed upon my dream dress. It wasn't exactly what I had initially envisioned as my wedding dress, but the more days I spent away from it the more I realized it was perfect. When I went back to the shop weeks later my dress was gone forever and it was too late to order another. I did end up finding an almost equally perfect dress that was very similar, but I still have fond and bittersweet memories of the one I let get away.

Top 10: #2 Be realistic about your bridesmaids

#2. Be realistic about your bridesmaids. Being a bridesmaid is an honor, but it's also a job. A job that comes with such a vague description that it can end up causing major drama throughout the wedding planning process. Not every girl is born to be a bridesmaid, and you're more than likely going to be choosing your maids based on close friend or family ties, and not on helpfulness/ usefulness in terms of assisting you. Just like men, bridesmaids can't always read your mind and know exactly what you want them to do and when to do it. Well, unless they're like me, of course!

The key to "bridesmaid bliss" is to examine the roll you expect your bridesmaids to fill, examine their expectations of being a bridesmaid, and finally, to communicate with them. I am not saying you should give them a long list of tasks as soon as they assume the roll of BM by any means! What I am saying is to make sure your expectations are align, and to be fair, honest and reasonable with them. Don't be a bridezilla, but don't be a push-over.

The best way to communicate this is to let them know what is in store from the get go. If you ask a crafty friend to be a BM, then right away let her know how creative you think she is and how you would love some help with the design elements of the wedding. Is your future sister-in-law completely clueless when it comes to cutesy things but great with numbers and tables, ask her for help with seating arrangements and so forth. And if you're a control-freak bride who wants to do it all on her own, make sure you let your eager beaver MOH know before she starts to get overly involved with planning your perfect day.

The best idea is to politely and graciously delegate reasonably sized tasks to the appropriate people, and this will ensure that things will get done according to plan. Just remember, your bridesmaids may have no idea what to do, so unless you ask for their help you shouldn't begrudge them for being useless (because some of them will be).

Top 10: #1 Expect the Unexpected

1. Expect the unexpected. No matter how thought out or carefully planned it is, every wedding or event WILL have some bumps. Not everything is in your control, and you just need to take a deep breath and accept that. The weather may not be the sunny blue skies that you prayed for, the florist might be an hour late getting your bouquet to you and hence you only get to see it for mere moments before you walk down the aisle, and maybe you'll nervously stumble through your speech in front of all your guests. Perhaps someone will leave their red Elmo tape measure on the podium throughout all of the speeches at the reception and use a hot pink feather boa ( I mean, really?) to gather the linens on your guest table without running it by you (yes, this really happened, but I was too sweet to say anything to the wedding co-ordinator). Regardless, your day will be wonderful and perfect despite it's imperfections, and you just have to embrace the moment and roll with the punches.

Top 10 things every bride should do...

As a newlywed AND a wedding planner, I often get asked what my most valuable advice is for the bride-to-be, and what I have learned through planning my own wedding and others. I don't want to be one of those pessimistic girls dwelling on what could have been, as I honestly did have an amazing wedding day. However, I can look back on my big day and openly admit that there were flaws, however minor they were, that could have been avoided. In the interest of saving other brides-to-be from some equally avoidable obstacles, I compiled a list of the 10 things I would do if I could do it all over again.

Indeed, some brides are no-fuss, no-muss and may not be bothered with the list. I can guarantee, however, that if you're anything like me (a detailed oriented, crafty and creative gal dreaming about the perfect day) that this list is a valuable tool that could save you much duress and emotional pain. Some are things I did in fact do, and am so happy to have incorporated them into my wedding. Others are mistakes, misunderstandings and miscommunications that can easily be avoided with a little forethought. And a few I've learned from helping brides along the way.

Here is the list, and over the next few days I'll break down each number into a lengthier post. Feel free to comment and add some of your best pieces of advice.

1. Expect the unexpected.

2. Be realistic about your bridesmaids.

3. When you find "the" dress, buy it.

4. Personalize your wedding.

5. Don't underestimate the value of photos and video.

6. Prepare for takeoff.

7. Accept that you WILL need help.

8. Be picky with your guest list.

9. Don't be a bridezilla.

10. Give yourself some time between the wedding and honeymoon.